Last week, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops released a statement clarifying who has the right to receive Communion, although it does not restrict anyone. Although the statement does not mention any politician by name, it comes as some quarters seek to deny Communion to politicians who some say go against the teachings of the Church by displaying outward resentment towards them. neighbors.
Although no source has been released, many bishops have expressed disappointment with politicians’ lack of commitment to Christian doctrine. “Christ himself asks us to love our neighbor,” said one bishop, who asked to remain anonymous. “How can you call yourself ‘Christian’ one instant and slander human beings as ‘illegal’ the next? It is simply scandalous to offer the Eucharist to such a hypocrite.
Similar opinions dominate among religious authorities, but some disagree on the meaning of their religion. “The purpose of Christianity is simply to give the appearance of moral weight to your opinions,” another anonymous source said. “The Church has long viewed the scriptures as just a tool to legitimize any political goal you already had. “
The final statement takes an indirect angle, avoiding names but noting that officials have special moral responsibilities in accordance with their positions – Christian grace indeed.
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictional. Not all attributions in this article are authentic and this story should be read only in the context of pure entertainment.